Hey baby, where are you?
You were supposed to have exited the womb in a calm and orderly fashion by now.
Today was your due date and we were all kind of expecting you to keep the appointment.
To be frank it's quite rude of you to keep us waiting, especially your poor mother!
I've read all the information sheets from the Royal Women's Hospital and watched all the episodes of One Born Every Minute and I've had my Awesome Supportive Birth Partner kit by the door for the last month.
Everyone out here is ready for you, soooo....
Yep, today was my friend's due date and her baby has inconsiderately failed to materialise.
Considering how big her tum has been for the last month we've been expecting him to pop out at any minute for the last three weeks but it seems he is in no hurry to oblige.
She's at the stage where she's a bit over it.
She can't move around easily, she's up every half hour or hour during the night to go to the bathroom, she aches all over, she can't get comfortable, she can't get much done, she hasn't laid on her stomach for about 5 months, she hasn't had a drink in 9 months...
She is READY for this baby to be ejected from the pod!
I was always one of those people who thought 'What's the rush? Just let the baby come out when it's ready' but all the years I was thinking this it didn't occur to me - and it was only pointed out to me recently - that the rush is that the baby keeps growing.
So not only is it getting cramped, it is going to be a lot bigger when it tries to make its way through the emergency exit!
That and it would probably have sucked the placenta dry by then, like the tiny vampire it is.
She's going to keep doing all the lovely labour-bringing-on-ish things that have been advised to her but if he goes too far past this following week he'll be getting an eviction notice from the medical professionals at the hospital who won't take no for an answer.
Fingers crossed he gets the idea soon!
Edit (4th July 2012): My friend has had a check up with the doctor who says everything is fine and the baby is doing well, he just doesn't feel like coming out yet.
He's been given until the 12th of July to get this show on the road on his own, if he doesn't she'll be induced.
On Friday the 13th.
Such an auspicious day! :-D